


It won't last forever (or maybe it will)

by Duaergenic



Category: Gaya Sa Pelikula (Web Series)
Genre: Eventual Fluff, Everything is Beautiful and Everything Hurts, Heavy Angst, Living Together, M/M, Post-Break Up, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:53:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28367199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Duaergenic/pseuds/Duaergenic
Summary: "Would you ever stop loving me?" He finally asked Karl one day in the middle of their midnight lazy kisses."I wouldn't promise a forever with you, if the love was anything but fleeting."In which Vlad doesn't believe in forevers and Karl has promised infinities.
Relationships: Karl Frederick Almasen/Jose Vladimir Austria
Comments: 8
Kudos: 13





	It won't last forever (or maybe it will)

**Author's Note:**

> PPP by beach house was on repeat while writing this. <\3

**_did you see it coming,_ **

**_it happened so fast._ **

**_the timing was perfect,_ **

**_water on glass._ **

_☆°•°•°•_

Fireworks exploding, universe breaking apart after pleading for peace for ages, water gushing through every mountain in sight. Every broken tale of love that ever existed feels like home. 

Vlad feels as if he would explode too. Someday, for sure. He would explode and all his doubts would come crashing to the world, screaming at it: _See? I told you, its all bullshit._

It's been a year since he and Karl got into their first serious relationship. They were roommates in their highschool senior year. 

\-- 

"hey, roomate?" Vlad tries to ease the awkwardness away to make sure his roommate doesn't assume that he's as scary as he looks. 

"uh, hi. My name is karl, its nice to meet you." 

Little did they know. Karl would end up on his knees with a little red flower, crying as he tells Vlad how much he likes him. 

Vlad thought he looked pretty funny and took a photo of him. Karl still hasn't forgotten him for that. 

\--- 

4 years together, yet Vlad still adores kissing Karl. 

"Arkiiiiiii, babyyyy, kiss me, kiss me, kiss me!!" 

Vlad just wants to kiss the fuck out of karl right now or maybe makeout for an hour or 2. Fuck the movie they were supposed to be watching. 

"Why are you being so cute for? my heart can't take you being cuter than you already are." Karl says. He scoots closer on the couch they were sitting on. He cups Vlad's face in his hands and looks at him so fondly it makes Vlad's heart go crazy. 

"kiss you?" Karl asks. 

"kiss me." Vlad whispers. 

Karl licks his lips. Looks at him with the same fond expression. 

"I could kiss you until my lips bleed, and I might not stop after that either." 

and they did just that. 

\-- 

As the years are going by, they're realising they love eachother. No, they love eachother too much. But for Vlad, the fear of it all turning to dust is as bad as love is everything but fearful. 

He loves it when Karl calls him baby. My love. Darling. Honey. Vlad. 

He loves his monday flowers. Loves the kisses that never seem to end. Loves how their hands never seem to be apart. They cook for eachother. They whisper unfathomable filth while kissing eachother's necks, when they make love, Vlad feels as if he's experiencing something divine. They are what love has always promised to be. 

Sunsets are more beautiful now, Vlad thinks one night as he holds Karl closer to him. Its because of how beautiful Karl looks in the sunlight. How could he focus on the sun when Karl looks nothing less than the sun itself? He shines so bright the sun would shy away. 

Yet somewhere along those feelings, Vlad fears not having what he has one day. It makes his heart ache. He has doubts that he might never say out loud. He knows it will not last forever. He knows his love would never be enough to make someone have a forever with him. (if it even existed) 

"Would you ever stop loving me?" he finally asked Karl one day in the middle of their midnight lazy kisses. 

"I wouldn't promise a forever with you, if the love was anything but fleeting." 

While you are on your way to the beach; your favorite song ends too soon, kisses on your forhead are way too short to get to know the feeling of it all, how goodbye kisses never seem to linger as long as you want them. 

Vlad thinks it's all bullshit, because if truth be told, nothing lasts forever, right?

(He wished he believed Karl, he wished he believed it, just, just this once)

  
  


**_like tracing figure eights on ice, so well_ **

**_and if this ice would break it would be my,_ **

**_my mistake._ **

☆°•°•°• 

Karl doesn't kiss him for hours anymore. He says college is draining him out. Vlad is fine with it. He doesn't mind not having his monday flowers anymore. He doesn't mind Karl not getting angry when he skips his meals. ( he hated it when Vlad did that) 

He's probably over thinking it all. But he can't help but notice the changes that linger everyday. No matter how many times he tries to hide or escape from these feelings—shove them in a sealed box— they never go away. He feels exhausted. 

It's been 7 years. Vlad could cry because the forever is slowly falling apart. He feels it. 

\-- 

"hey, love?" Vlad asks, karl has been reading this one book alot lately. (he's always reading, to be honest) 

It pisses off Vlad because he barely gets to be the center of attention anymore. 

"uhhh...yeah?" karl looks up for a brief moment. But Vlad knows already that he's not interested in what he might have to say. 

But instead of overthinking how to ask, Vlad takes the book from Karl's hands and puts it away. He climbs on Karl's lap and starts kissing him. 

"hey hey baby. Don't you think that was rude?" Vlad doesn't know what to say. Can't they be playfull with eachother anymore? 

"It is? I just wanted to kiss you." He whispers. 

"Oh, honey. You could've asked, you know? I was in the middle of something important." 

Vlad feels awkward as fuck right now. He should have read the room. 

"Can we please do this later?" Vlad is already off his lap. 

"Yeah. Sure. No big deal." 

Vlad might have cried himself to sleep that night. He misses their long makeout sessions. But its fine, he thinks. Its no big deal. 

Right? 

_Right?_

\-- 

Karl doesn't feel as happy when Vlad cooks him his favourite meals. He doesn't write songs for him anymore. He doesn't kiss his belly because he finds it soft. He doesn't cuddle the shit out of him because he likes how he smells and 

its been 9 years. Vlad sees the forever crumbling apart. And its been 9 years. 

"Hey, love, you feeling sad lately?" 

Karl asked one day, because Vlad has been too deep in the thoughts that make his toes cold as ice. He's not even subtle about it anymore. 

_Please love me like you used to, please kiss me like you mean it. I feel like im dying. Do you even love me anymore?_

"Yeah, 'm fine, now c'mon dinner will get cold." 

_\---_

**_someone must told me_ **

**_in love that you must,_ **

**_place all your given_ **

**_infinite trust._ **

☆°•°•°• 

The night is a mix of blues and purple hues. The moon is breathtakingly gorgeous. The birds are long asleep. Vlad thinks of forever again, as he feels Karl's heart beating loudly under the palm of his hand. Did it get bored of him? Did it stop loving him? Because he knew it all. He had the same feeling every night Karl would whisper endless chains of I love yous. Leaving behind whispers of _until i dont_ for only Vlad to hear. And it's been 12 years. 

They know everything about eachother. Every little detail. He knows how much Karl dislikes scray movies. He knows he easily cries while watching romantic movies. He knows he doesn't like washing the dishes. He knows his heart better than anyone else. He has explorde every curve of his body. He knows how to love him. 

Yet he thinks, its not enough. Its never enough to love a person with every beat of heart you have. Because somewhere, they will drift apart and it will be too late for you to notice. 

He's accepted that at the end of the day, he's nothing but someone who gives way too much for an idea that is basically a lie. Forevers. Eternities. Love. Lovers. Karl. 

He feels something terrible slowly making its way. 

\---

"fuck, baby you make me feel so good. Harder. Please. Ohmygod. I love you so much." 

lately, Vlad thinks he only hears Karl saying I love yous

(and mean it) is only when they're having sex.

_\---_

**_yet im tracing figure eights on ice in skates, so well_ **

**_and if this ice should break it would be my,_ **

**_my mistake._ **

☆°•°•°• 

\--- 

"I think we should take things slow from now on. Let's take a break to figure things out, Okay? you know I love you, right?" 

**_(And_ **

**_if this_ **

**_ice_ **

**_should break-_ **

"I could cry if I were to count the blessings you have given me these past 12 years. Vlad, my sunshine, I am truly grateful for what I had with you. I could never love anyone, like I have loved you. You are the person that I would always brag about. But I'm sorry that shit got hard and complicated. It was none of your fault. You are an angel. (karl is sobbing, Vlad had already cried enough to shed a single tear at the moment) 

I think it's better if we break things off now than regret not trying to fix the insecurities and messes in our minds. I will forever cherish you." 

Karl moves forward and kisses him on the lips. They can taste eachother's tears. He wished the tears would wash their sorrow away. 

Their last kiss. Their last goodbye. Their last hope for having a forever. 

**_-it would be my_ **

**_my_ **

**_mistake)_ **

☆°•°•°• 

Its been 12 years. They are not together anymore. They fought. Alot. They stopped kissing. Holding hands. Sleeping together. Making Love. Loving. 

He feels as if it was a game where life was testing him whether all that he feared all along would come true or not. He knows it would've happened. He knows it. Yet he still loves Karl, in a broken shattered way. He's determined that Karl stopped loving him because he never trusted him with his forever promises. As bad as he wanted to. 

Their love was anything but not genuine. Then again, love is fleeting and time is a bitch. And so are human emotions. He's glad he's gotten to work on himself. He goes to therapy. He's trying to work on his trust issues. 

But he still misses karl more than he can handle. He might never be able to not miss him. But he has now realised that forevers are anything but happy. Forevers are nothing similar to what love should've been. 

☆°•°•°• 

On a cold sunday night in Chicago, after 15 years of their breakup, he sits next to his hotel window as he watches raindrops falling down. His room is filled with sounds of thunder and rain. He's feeling extra melancholic today. 

He opens his phone and reads the last text he sent to his ex lover: it was two years ago. He drunkly texted Arki because he missed him alot that day. (He never drank after that.) 

It said:

  
  


"Didn't you say you would love me forever?" 

"The idea of forever is amazing, but just as fantasy and dreams are illusory, then so is love thats supposed to last for eternities. Forever is a lie, a beautiful lie — that I wish I had never promised."

He let out a sob he didn't know he was holding. 

☆°•°•°•

Fireworks exploding, universe breaking apart after pleading for peace for so long, water gushing through every mountain in sight. Vlad feels as if he would explode too. Someday, for sure. He would explode and all his doubts would come crashing to the world, screaming at it _See? i told you, its all bullshit._

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> folks! kudos and comments are always appreciated.


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